On Revenge

  • JERRY: "What is the point of all this?"
  • GEORGE: "Revenge."
  • JERRY: "You know, the best revenge is living well."
  • GEORGE: "There's no chance of that."

A Mickey Source

  • GEORGE: "I'm gonna slip him a mickey."
  • JERRY: "What, in his drink? Are you out of your mind? What are you Peter Lorrie?"
  • GEORGE: "You don't understand, he's having this party, he's been planning it for months. This is going to destroy the whole thing!"
  • JERRY: "What if you destroy him?"
  • GEORGE: "No, no, no, don't worry, I researched it. It's perfectly safe. He'll get a little woozy...he might keel over."
  • JERRY: "What does that do, big deal."
  • GEORGE: "This is what they would do in the movies. It's the beautiful thing, it's like a movie. I'm gonna slip him a mickey!"
  • JERRY: "You've really gone mental. Where are you gonna get this mickey? I can't believe I'm SAYING mickey."

It's a Breeze

  • GEORGE: "So Whatley's still Jewish?"
  • JERRY: "Sure. Without the parents, it's a breeze."
"You know if you take everything I’ve accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day…it looks decent!"

— George Costanza (Seinfeld - The Muffin Tops)

The Hitler Stuff

  • JERRY: "What's going on?"
  • GEORGE: "Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here. They've downgraded me to some kind of a bunker. I'm like Hitler's last days, here."
  • JERRY: "So are you going to leave?"
  • GEORGE: "Oh, no. I'm invigorated! They'll never get me out. I'm like a weed, Jerry."
  • JERRY: "I thought you're like Hitler in the bunker?"
  • GEORGE: "I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker."
  • JERRY: "I'm getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff."

I'll Give Him That

  • JERRY: "Newman! He's going with Newman!"
  • GEORGE: "How does Whatley even know Newman?"
  • JERRY: "Newman's his mailman."
  • GEORGE: "Who goes to the Superbowl with their mailman?"
  • JERRY: "Who goes anywhere with Newman?"
  • GEORGE: "Well...he's merry."
  • JERRY: "He is merry. I'll give him that."

The Glitteratti

  • KRAMER: "You're dating this woman?"
  • GEORGE: "Yeah."
  • KRAMER: "Ooh, George. You're becoming one of the glitteratti."
  • GEORGE: "What's that?"
  • KRAMER: "...people who glitter."

Alright, Biff

  • JERRY: "So what do you say? Ride the cyclone? Hot dog at Nathan's on me?"
  • GEORGE: "Who are you, Satan? I've got an interview, I'm close to a job here."
  • JERRY: "Alright, Biff."

Tor Eckman

  • TOR: "What month were you born?"
  • GEORGE: "April."
  • TOR: "You should have been born in August. Your parents would have been well advised to wait."
"Mr. Steinbrenner’s here, George is dead, call me back."

— Frank Costanza (Seinfeld-The Caddy)