It's Just Like That Seinfeld

Month

December 2012

7 posts

Jerry Seinfeld on How to Write a Joke → nytimes.com

The comedian describes the anatomy of his Pop-Tart joke, still a work in progress, and shows his longhand writing process.

Dec 20, 20121 note
Rental Cars
  • JERRY: "I hate rental cars. Nothin' ever works: the window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work... and it smells like a cheap hooker. [pause] Or is that you?"
  • ELAINE: "Gimme ten bucks and find out."
Dec 20, 20126 notes
#Seinfeld #quotes #Elaine Benes #The Airport
On Revenge
  • JERRY: "What is the point of all this?"
  • GEORGE: "Revenge."
  • JERRY: "You know, the best revenge is living well."
  • GEORGE: "There's no chance of that."
Dec 16, 201214 notes
#George Costanza #Seinfeld
A Mickey Source
  • GEORGE: "I'm gonna slip him a mickey."
  • JERRY: "What, in his drink? Are you out of your mind? What are you Peter Lorrie?"
  • GEORGE: "You don't understand, he's having this party, he's been planning it for months. This is going to destroy the whole thing!"
  • JERRY: "What if you destroy him?"
  • GEORGE: "No, no, no, don't worry, I researched it. It's perfectly safe. He'll get a little woozy...he might keel over."
  • JERRY: "What does that do, big deal."
  • GEORGE: "This is what they would do in the movies. It's the beautiful thing, it's like a movie. I'm gonna slip him a mickey!"
  • JERRY: "You've really gone mental. Where are you gonna get this mickey? I can't believe I'm SAYING mickey."
Dec 16, 20123 notes
#George Costanza #Seinfeld
Puddy FTW
  • JERRY: "Have you noticed your boyfriend has developed an annoying little habit?"
  • ELAINE: "The squinting?"
  • JERRY: "No."
  • ELAINE: "The staring?"
  • JERRY: "No."
Dec 12, 20123 notes
#Elaine Benes #Seinfeld #David Puddy
It's a Breeze
  • GEORGE: "So Whatley's still Jewish?"
  • JERRY: "Sure. Without the parents, it's a breeze."
Dec 12, 20122 notes
#Seinfeld #George Costanza #Tim Whatley
“You know if you take everything I’ve accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day…it looks decent!” —George Costanza (Seinfeld - The Muffin Tops)
Dec 11, 201240 notes
#Seinfeld #George Costanza

November 2012

7 posts

Play
Nov 11, 201223 notes
#David Puddy #Seinfeld
Man Fur
  • JERRY: "So Puddy wears a man fur?"
  • ELAINE: "He was struttin around the coffee shop like Stein Erickson."
  • JERRY: "And of course, you find fur morally reprehensible."
  • ELAINE: "Eh, anti-fur. Who has the energy anymore. This is more about hanging off the arm of an idiot."
Nov 8, 201211 notes
#Seinfeld #Elaine Benes #David Puddy #quotes
The Hitler Stuff
  • JERRY: "What's going on?"
  • GEORGE: "Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here. They've downgraded me to some kind of a bunker. I'm like Hitler's last days, here."
  • JERRY: "So are you going to leave?"
  • GEORGE: "Oh, no. I'm invigorated! They'll never get me out. I'm like a weed, Jerry."
  • JERRY: "I thought you're like Hitler in the bunker?"
  • GEORGE: "I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker."
  • JERRY: "I'm getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff."
Nov 7, 20125 notes
#Seinfeld #quote #George Costanza
Involved
  • JERRY: "What do you mean, involved?"
  • KRAMER: "Well I ran out onto the court and threw a hotdog at Reggie Miller. Involved. Then they threw me, Reggie, and Spike out of the game."
  • ELAINE: "So, that's it?"
  • KRAMER: "Well I felt pretty bad about the everything. Then the three of us, we went to a strip club."
Nov 5, 20124 notes
#Seinfeld #Kramer #Elaine Benes
Sweatshop Eggs
  • KRAMER: "Kurt, taste these eggs."
  • KURT: "Uh, no. I only eat cage free, farm fresh."
  • KRAMER: "Yes. These are sweatshop eggs!"
Nov 5, 20121 note
#Seinfeld #quotes #Kramer
Play
Nov 4, 20123 notes
#Seinfeld #Kramer
“People don’t just bump into each other and have sex. This isn’t Cinemax.” —Jerry Seinfeld (Seinfeld)
Nov 2, 201210 notes
#Seinfeld #quotes

October 2012

16 posts

I'll Give Him That
  • JERRY: "Newman! He's going with Newman!"
  • GEORGE: "How does Whatley even know Newman?"
  • JERRY: "Newman's his mailman."
  • GEORGE: "Who goes to the Superbowl with their mailman?"
  • JERRY: "Who goes anywhere with Newman?"
  • GEORGE: "Well...he's merry."
  • JERRY: "He is merry. I'll give him that."
Oct 31, 20124 notes
#Seinfeld #Newman #George Costanza #Tim Whatley
The Glitteratti
  • KRAMER: "You're dating this woman?"
  • GEORGE: "Yeah."
  • KRAMER: "Ooh, George. You're becoming one of the glitteratti."
  • GEORGE: "What's that?"
  • KRAMER: "...people who glitter."
Oct 31, 20122 notes
#Seinfeld #quotes #George Costanza #Kramer
Off With Their Heads
  • ELAINE: "I'll tell you what, could you tape the rest of the pig men and the women who love them conversation and I'll listen to it the next time I'm here. I gotta go find a moyle."
  • KRAMER: "You know, Elaine, you should call that off. It's a barbaric ritual!"
  • ELAINE: "Maybe one day, when the pig men roam free it'll be stopped, Kramer. Until then...off with their heads."
Oct 29, 20127 notes
#Seinfeld #quotes #Kramer #Elaine Benes
“I mean sex is great, but you really don’t want to think that your whole life began because somebody maybe had a little too much wine with dinner.” —Jerry Seinfeld (Seinfeld - The Contest)
Oct 27, 20125 notes
#Seinfeld #quotes
I Need Your Virgin
  • ELAINE: "I got served with papers today. Ping is suing me! And listen, I need your virgin as a witness so you'd better be nice to her."
  • JERRY: "I was trying to be."
Oct 27, 20123 notes
#Seinfeld #Elaine Benes #quotes
Alright, Biff
  • JERRY: "So what do you say? Ride the cyclone? Hot dog at Nathan's on me?"
  • GEORGE: "Who are you, Satan? I've got an interview, I'm close to a job here."
  • JERRY: "Alright, Biff."
Oct 24, 20125 notes
#Seinfeld #George Costanza #quote
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