The comedian describes the anatomy of his Pop-Tart joke, still a work in progress, and shows his longhand writing process.

Rental Cars

  • JERRY: "I hate rental cars. Nothin' ever works: the window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work... and it smells like a cheap hooker. [pause] Or is that you?"
  • ELAINE: "Gimme ten bucks and find out."

On Revenge

  • JERRY: "What is the point of all this?"
  • GEORGE: "Revenge."
  • JERRY: "You know, the best revenge is living well."
  • GEORGE: "There's no chance of that."

A Mickey Source

  • GEORGE: "I'm gonna slip him a mickey."
  • JERRY: "What, in his drink? Are you out of your mind? What are you Peter Lorrie?"
  • GEORGE: "You don't understand, he's having this party, he's been planning it for months. This is going to destroy the whole thing!"
  • JERRY: "What if you destroy him?"
  • GEORGE: "No, no, no, don't worry, I researched it. It's perfectly safe. He'll get a little woozy...he might keel over."
  • JERRY: "What does that do, big deal."
  • GEORGE: "This is what they would do in the movies. It's the beautiful thing, it's like a movie. I'm gonna slip him a mickey!"
  • JERRY: "You've really gone mental. Where are you gonna get this mickey? I can't believe I'm SAYING mickey."

Puddy FTW

  • JERRY: "Have you noticed your boyfriend has developed an annoying little habit?"
  • ELAINE: "The squinting?"
  • JERRY: "No."
  • ELAINE: "The staring?"
  • JERRY: "No."

It's a Breeze

  • GEORGE: "So Whatley's still Jewish?"
  • JERRY: "Sure. Without the parents, it's a breeze."
"You know if you take everything I’ve accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day…it looks decent!"

— George Costanza (Seinfeld - The Muffin Tops)


David Puddy was the greatest minor character not named Newman on the show.


(Source: suprchnk, via littlekicks)

Man Fur

  • JERRY: "So Puddy wears a man fur?"
  • ELAINE: "He was struttin around the coffee shop like Stein Erickson."
  • JERRY: "And of course, you find fur morally reprehensible."
  • ELAINE: "Eh, anti-fur. Who has the energy anymore. This is more about hanging off the arm of an idiot."

The Hitler Stuff

  • JERRY: "What's going on?"
  • GEORGE: "Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here. They've downgraded me to some kind of a bunker. I'm like Hitler's last days, here."
  • JERRY: "So are you going to leave?"
  • GEORGE: "Oh, no. I'm invigorated! They'll never get me out. I'm like a weed, Jerry."
  • JERRY: "I thought you're like Hitler in the bunker?"
  • GEORGE: "I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker."
  • JERRY: "I'm getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff."